Thursday, July 27, 2017

Confessions of an overthinker

Yes, you read it right - sadly, I AM AN OVER THINKER and to be honest it's not easy to be one - in tagalog, NKKLK (nakakaloka)

I don't usually share my thoughts kasi I consider myself as an introvert charot! and aside from that others might think that I am one crazy woman (I know my friends would object because they know that I am already crazy but right amount of crazy (I guess?).
Tonight I have this urge to make buhos all my emotions into a blog post.

On this post I will be citing few relatable struggles of an over thinker (or should I say, my day to day struggles):

Sleep is not our friend and will never be. Kung si Steve ng blue's clues ay may thinking chair, kami naman eh mayroong overthinking bed. The bed is one of the few places where we make most of our life's major decisions (syempre our number one is in the loo, banyo, kubeta, palikuran, kasilyas atbp).
We are hard on ourselves because we don't recognize gray, we only know black and white kasi we learned our lessons the hard way, we're either too much or not enough, pwedeng sobrang saya to sobrang depress, alam mo yun hindi in between. F*ck being neutral.

Sudden change if treatment will make us think more, para kaming dictionary kasi lahat ng bagay nilalagyan namin ng meaning. Madelay lang ng reply si crush magiisip na ng kung ano ano, hindi lang maaya sa get together with friends, triggered na agad at mag mumukmok yung parang may mga paranoid episodes kung baga.

Idle time is not a good idea, as much as possible we wanted to be engaged on something. Mas madaming gawa, mas pagod, less time to think.
We weave stories in our minds about things that is impossible to happen. Sometimes over thinkers have the most creative minds, I won't share my crazy ideas kasi I'm shy nah *insert Kris Aquino tone "BIMB!".

Roller coaster of emotions? Yan kami, pwedeng okay kami ngayon tapos mamaya parang sinakluban na ng langit at lupa. Yung mood namin parang yung ex mo, ang bilis magpalit.

Fickle minded - we make decisions that usually make or break us. If we made the right decision we celebrate but if we did not, we break down, cry and think about what went wrong, contemplate about the things that we should've done or the things na hindi namin dapat ginawa.

We are scared to ask questions because we have already formulated the answers in our minds and most of the time we have the ugliest answer.
We'll never have a peace of mind. Our brain works 24/7 because there's a war inside us, when our mind started working, we tend to withdraw from reality (lakas maka baliw ano?) because we're often lost in our own thoughts, minsan nga nalunod na at hindi na makaahon.

We no longer know what's the difference between being paranoid versus the reality, we're scared to confront it because we think that we may be wrong and ayaw namin maging unreasonable to someone who's not in our shoes. 


We are scared of opening up or if we decide to do so, we only let our guard down to very few people:

People whom we trust. 
People who understands our day to day struggle. 
People who will at least remind us to rest our minds even for few seconds only. 
People who will love our flaws and will not get tired giving us security.
People who will not judge us.

This blog post is all made up by a bored over thinker so please don't take it seriously, my battles are different from yours ;)

Awesome photos from Van Agamata

No comments:

Post a Comment

Receive All Free Updates Via Facebook.